I never told Kevin I was in hospital.
We had been talking for three weeks online one of those slow, beautiful friendships that sneak up on you. He was in Leeds. I was in Birmingham. We hadn't even met in person yet, though we had talked about it in that nervous, hopeful, maybe someday way. When I got the diagnosis a cyst, benign, but requiring surgery I went quiet on everyone. I told no one except my mother. I didn't want sympathy. I didn't want people treating me like I was fragile. Kevin noticed the silence after four days. He sent one message: "You don't have to tell me what's wrong. But I'm here if the silence gets too loud." I cried for twenty minutes at that message. Then I told him everything. He listened. He didn't try to fix it. He didn't say "you'll be fine" or "stay positive" the two phrases that make sick people want to scream. He just said, "Thank you for trusting me with this. How are you sleeping?" I had the surgery on a Thursday. I came home Friday afternoon groggy, sore, feeling vaguely like someone had rearranged my insides, which they had. On Saturday morning my mother called up the stairs: "There's something on the doorstep." A single sunflower. In a small glass bottle of water so it wouldn't wilt. Tied with a piece of paper that said:
"Didn't want to intrude. Just wanted you to have something bright. K"
He had driven six hours. In November. In the kind of rain that makes motorways miserable. Left the flower, and driven six hours back. He didn't knock. Didn't expect anything. Didn't even tell me he had done it my mother saw his car pulling away from the window.
I called him immediately.
"You drove six hours."
"Five and a half," he said. "The M6 was clear."
Reader I married that man.
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